who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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