good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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