what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
