The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
