so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
