Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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