New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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