Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
