We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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