so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
