why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
