I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
