Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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