last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
