Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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