And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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