My nipple is on Facebook.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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