If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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