): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
