your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
