So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it's like iHOP with fire
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
