just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My pussy is not your playground.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
