I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
a search helicopter?!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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