I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
