new low.... made out with someone while peeing
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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