1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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