I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
