so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
