Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
