At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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