Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Did I show you my penis last night?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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