butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't make out with my wife yet
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
