I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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