You just made me feel so damn special
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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