Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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