I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
that's an acceptable place to lick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
