told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
