I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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