is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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