So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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