We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
