Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
