I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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