ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize