So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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