Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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