New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dicks are not precious.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
