areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
