Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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