So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
