Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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