Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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