We need to rekindle our bromance
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
