If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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