Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
