you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
