Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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