I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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