I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
