I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
