so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
