Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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