he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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