to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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