they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
