dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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