guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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