Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
