Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
