I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
