Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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