I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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